i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
