Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
