im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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