You can't motorboat a personality
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
