i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
