well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The cops high fived after they tackled you
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
