You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize