How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I wear drunk well.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
