Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize