dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
