I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
