Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
