hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize