Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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