Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
