I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
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Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
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Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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