My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize