i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
