oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
