for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
