Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
