so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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