I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
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