I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have fence marks all over my body
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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