i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
