we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
