you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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