Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize