white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize