Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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