your thong is hanging out like whoa
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
