i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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