I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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