she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
