Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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