I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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