i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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