Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
