I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
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