I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
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When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
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bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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