Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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