I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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