I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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