She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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