her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
