Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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