go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
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My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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