Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize