exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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