I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
