Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
