Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
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Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.