IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
