So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if only i could text you this smell
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??