I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?