Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol

(661): View more from California

HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator

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(828): View more from North Carolina

there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.

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(805): View more from California

The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.

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(310): View more from California

Can we just ponder our lives for a second.

(818): View more from California

No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP

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(925): View more from California

Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.

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(574): View more from Indiana

LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.

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