Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys

(1-804): View more from Virginia

wow, that really makes you stop and think.

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(510): View more from California

one might say we're banned from that church

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(727): View more from Florida

I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.

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(315): View more from New York

He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(336): View more from North Carolina

Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

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(406): View more from Montana

3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.

(1-406): View more from Montana

How stoned are you?

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(904): View more from Florida

Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.

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