Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need to align my fucking chakras
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
