Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This is not my ceiling
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
