If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
