She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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