My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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