See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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