Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
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i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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