Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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